How to Socialize With Subordinates

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How to Socialize With Subordinates

Written by: Melissa Dylan 919 views

In general, becoming too buddy-buddy with subordinates is a bad idea. You’re putting yourself in a position to be taken advantage of, or to lose respect from employees. But what if you’ve recently been promoted above people you considered friends? Or you’re in a position to hire a friend who you know will make a great employee?

It’s best to establish a few ground rules if you’d like to continue to socialize with friends who are now employees.

1. Treat them the same as the rest of the employees at work. Keep your friendship outside of the workplace, so resentment won’t grow among workers. Leave chummy inside jokes and plans for poker night at the door.

This means not giving your friends extra leeway when it comes to job performance. It can get sticky if a friend is under-performing or taking advantage of your friendship by slacking off. You must be firm with these friend-employees, even if it means jeopardizing the friendship.

2. Take the lead. It’s your job to establish the boss-employee relationship. If your friend drops by your office a little too frequently for chit-chats, or expects extra time off because “you know why…that issue we talked about?” gently remind him or her that your work relationship has to be different than your friendship. Deal with the issue the same way you would any employee—strictly by the book. (Remind them of sick or personal leave, for example.) Then make a date to talk after work if they need it.

3. Don’t give them an excuse for disrespect. This may mean taming down your social life if it includes drunken benders or brawls with the guy who beat you at darts. It’ll be hard for your friend to take you seriously during the Monday morning briefing when he knows your shiner came from a right-hook from Myrtle the one-legged bartender and not your dog knocking you over, like you’re telling the office.

4. Don’t talk shop off-duty. When you’re hanging out with employee friends outside of work, limit your conversation to non-work topics. This will prevent you from giving your friends an unfair advantage. Otherwise you may leak information, or find yourself brainstorming ideas that other employees aren’t in on. This leads to favoritism and resentment.

5. Don’t cut them off entirely. Nothing will build resentment faster between you and your subordinate if you end a friendship as soon as you become their boss. The nature of the friendship may need to shift, but you can’t ignore the fact that you were friends before the work relationship was created.

The answers differ based on each situation, so tread lightly and follow your instincts. Your friends will hopefully be mature enough to realize that your work friendship will differ from your outside friendship, and respect that. It may take time to adjust, but be patient and diplomatic at all times.